No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just pee around me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
