I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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