I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I cannot find my penis.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
