Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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