The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
