Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
