Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
