I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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