Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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