margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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