Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
