yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
