I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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