you would pick up someone in the library
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dear god my vagina.
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