Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
