there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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