So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
