census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she looked like the before picture.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
