After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
operation have a gay friend backfired
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
