I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
