That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
