I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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