I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
