Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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