he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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