I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
