the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
