On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also, beer. Big fan.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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