thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We just shotgunned beers for America
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
