Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
