I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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