My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
