i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
