The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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