my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
