Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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