Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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