1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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