If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
