is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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