..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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