he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
