I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
