I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
