well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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