can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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