Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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