That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
