At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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