I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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