Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
